Taking A Wider View

It's been an age and a day since I've read quality. It's only been marginally less than that that I've read at all, and that really has been to my detriment.

So it was with some surprise, I opened a newly acquired (courtesy of the humble bundle) copy of "The Curse of Chalion" by Lois McMaster Bujold and realised with an internal gasp that I was reading the work of a master. It really has been too long.

There is something about a book, similar to a film but so much more engaging, where it grabs you and pulls you into its world, capturing and enrapturing you in a simple sentence or two, that I just adore. It's incredible. And as I read that first paragraph, half way through I realised what I had been missing for quite a while.

I struggle, here, with a product that I feel is decent but not more than entry level into a world without borders. It's not powerful or intense, not fearsome or electrifying, not even funny and cool. At most, my writing could be said to have characters that have some depth and feeling to them. Though even that is a self assessment based on a few people's short opinions.

This book, on the other hand, is like coming face to face with a master. I'll use that word again because it is suitable. I had to look the author up online and I am pleasantly comforted that this is not a book deemed regular or moderate, for if that was the case I would indeed have to re-evaluate my goals. Still, I realise that for a long time I have been looking at what I could do better than others, or how my writing is better than the lowest common denominator.

When what I really should be doing is comparing myself to the best.

My writing isn't elaborate or descriptive, it's simple and accessible and quite colloquial. It reflects my skill with the language quite thoroughly and the gaps in that knowledge are painfully clear. It's not complex writing and I know it, and that's not likely to change. It just doesn't suit me. Passion and emotion yes, intricacies...not so much. My major skill is the ability combine knowledge, take different fields and create connections, but I'm not someone who can remember a lot of data and work inside the box.

It figures that I would write fantasy.

Most of the problems I have now though, I see are probably down to my focus on poor or mediocre writing. Yes, it's good for my confidence to see something that's poorly written. But is it good for my writing? Not in a month of sundays.

I'm at the stage where I feel my writing is mediocre. And that's great because that mediocre could get published. It's at a decent standard. But as I look to this book now, without reading past the first few pages or knowing if, as a whole, it is great or lackluster, I see the gap in skill.

And I know what I should be aiming for.

I know I really need to start reading again now, because I need to learn. I need those words and styles and that rich cloak of atmosphere to sink into my mind and soul, and add its unique beauty to the swirling mix. Once again, I need to devour and grow, become more than I am, so I can write, and think, better. And as I read, I will once again open myself to a world of possibilities.

For, master, the student is ready.