Sometimes you stop and think,
Recently, I had the chance to be reminded of what life is like in my head... and where I wanted to go with that. I don't have all the answers, I don't have the skills, and perhaps I don't have the dedication... but what I do have is the talent.
I assume someone up there knew I was going to be lazy, and so blessed me in a hundred different ways... well, I have to keep reminding myself that those abilities are there for a reason, and have to be used lest I slide back into my hole.
There's a reason i'm here, and that destiny must be fulfilled.
Once again I find myself yearning towards the creation of what I want. Not just the start, but every ounce of it... to birth it, pour life into it, and let the ball start rolling... is the least I can do.
I can't give up.
I can't give up on this world or myself...
...because he entrusted it to me.
Saturday, 3 September 2011
Things have changed.
They have, and they have not.
They should change more.
My father is... well, you know. The most natural thing occurred, and he's gone. It'll catch up to me in a while.
But life has changed. Now I have looming prospects for a life with someone and my heart is tugging me all over the place. I guess i'm still keeping it normal, but i'm also trying to change, because it's time. I have to do everything now, because it's the right time.
Still, I get the feeling I can take a bit of time. Let things hit me slowly so I don't hit the wall and slide to the floor in a mess. I'm a bit lazy at cleaning up.
I don't know how to explain it, but I just feel so lucky I had so much time with him. And I feel... I have to be a better man, I have to be...so I can follow his example. So I can be even better than he was to me.
It's a tough job, but I should at least try. So one day when I tell my children I loved my father very much, they will understand what I mean.